Sister 1 Dates the Master of Golden Showers

Sister 2
Lately I am having issues with Sister 1. In case you didn’t notice she has not posted anything in a long time. Now I ask you, why start a blog only to get people excited then leave them hanging out to dry? I have no answer…only that she doesn’t have time, not much to say, I don’t know…so I will regale you with a story just for fun titled:
How Many of Sister 1’s Boyfriends Have I Scared Off?
This idea came to me when I was walking with Sister 1 and my mind flashed to this weird Seinfeld-y looking guy she had introduced my husband and I to way back. I also thought of it because our good friend who happens to also be a great bartender asked me to not focus the next blog on all of Sister 1’s issues and maybe offer that I too have issues. OK SHE IS WRONG but hey I will admit this much: I have minor tiny little flaws that, well, have successfully scared off more than one boy in Sister 1’s life, and perhaps this is a problem? So…Seinfeld was this kid she was dating who looked like Seinfeld but was not even funny in the least bit and above all had none of Seinfeld’s money but I allowed her to introduce me to him anyways because why not? We were going to be doing Dr. Pepper’s at this bar near her place and if you haven’t tried a Dr. Pepper please do so…they are very delicious and although now I have to say I am a little to old to do the “popper” style shots I was on vacation so its totally OK to do shots that involve dropping something into a beer and slamming it down fast when (and only when) you are out of town and find yourself over the age of 30.
Seinfeld spent the evening playing Golden Putt-Putt or something like this which of course I referred to as Golden Shower all night. He was obsessed with it. He even got Secret-Agent-Lover-Man to play who is a video gamer and a golfer so there goes my husband – so much for quality time at the bar – and then there was me and Sister 1, left with nothing to do but more Dr. Peppers and to try not to get in a bar fight which has been known to happen when Secret-Agent-Lover-Man abandons me for a game of Golden Shower and leaves me with Sister1…OK…
Any fights that occurred aside the evening ended with me asking Seinfeld about his intentions. Let me tell all of you sisters and brothers out there that the SECOND your sister (it only works with boys unfortunately) brings home an undesirable man, ask him about his intentions. You will see nothing but a flash of light, catch a faint whiff of Drakkar Noir, and sense the door shut with nary a swoosh as he exits your immediate area – and more importantly – your sisters life forever. It only works with boys because if you ask a girl her intentions…well its likely she has a few…thousand…so it is only effective at repelling boys.
I did it. I admit it. I didn’t like him so I scared him off. He wasn’t cute, looked like an eager pledge for a fraternity, was obsessed with playing Golden Shower instead of getting to know ME and worst of all was broke-ass-broke-down going Dutch with my sister.
See? We all have our little miniscule flaws…and now friends, you have strategies within which to employ the next time your sister dates a pale comparison to Seinfeld!